First off, we are under a whole new paradigm. We have to redefine what screen time even means…How do we determine how to limit or structure screen time for our kids when our whole lives are going virtual.
One of the questions I got was…12 hours a day is fine right??!!! While I know this person was joking, I’m sure there are lots of people in the same spot. 12 hours a day isn’t great I’ll say, but also I think that for all of this we have to start from a place of compassion and understanding. Have grace for yourself as you figure out how to handle having your kids in your space all day every day indefinitely. When trying to figure out how much time to let your kids be on screens and what it should look like, I think the best place to start is actually with yourself. Give yourself some rules and boundaries with your own screen time.
- Ask yourself how your own time on your phone is serving you. Do you need to have those CNN notifications turned on? Do you need to check what the president said and what other people are saying about what the president said on twitter every few minutes? Being informed is good, but you probably don’t need to know several times per day how many more people have been infected and what irresponsible things are being said by government officials. Choose a time in your day that you get informed and try not to check in more…and definitely don’t do it right before bed.
- After you’ve determined how much time to allot to news, decide how much time you need to allot for work. Like I said, we’re under a new paradigm. Working from home with kids just has to look different than it did at the office. You probably can’t and shouldn’t be trying to get in 8 hours of uninterrupted work right now.
- Last, figure out a reasonable amount of time to do the fun stuff — but also try to limit that for yourself, and remember to set aside time to check in with people you may usually see in person. After you’ve come up with what are some reasonable and healthy limits for yourself, you can use that to inform how to proceed with your kids.
For your kids, it is still true that too much unstructured screen time is bad for development. It is important to limit screen time that doesn’t involve interaction. The American Academy of Pediatrics has a lot to say about screen use for young children. Here’s one:
“For children younger than 2 years, evidence for benefits of media is still limited, adult interaction with the child during media use is crucial, and there continues to be evidence of harm from excessive digital media use”
For our older kids in middle and high school who are more independent with their own devices and able to do more independent online school time, there are other concerns. There were already unacceptably high depression, anxiety, and suicide rates for our teenagers before they were cut off from their daily rhythms, academics, extracurricular activities, and most importantly, friends. This is a great (kind of old, but I still think it’s relevant) article about social media for teens: Have Smart Phones Destroyed a Generation? I think this quote is important to remember when considering how to use screens to get through this weird time:
There is compelling evidence that the devices we’ve placed in young people’s hands are having profound effects on their lives — and making them seriously unhappy.
When setting up screen time, try to keep it intentional and in limited chunks of time. Give clear expectations and give visual support of those expectations whenever possible. Visible and visual timers are so helpful. I like these for something fun: https://www.online-stopwatch.com/sensory-timers/.
Schedule non-screen activities between screen things. (And remember that what’s good for your kids is good for you too.) Side note — I think that when we show our kids we are trusting them with a big responsibility like being wise with independent time, they rise to the occasion. And when they slip up and don’t meet your expectations, remember that you probably didn’t stick to your own boundaries either, and be open about that. This is a time for grace.
Ok, SO how to schedule screen routines?? Here’s a GREAT question asked by my dear sister: “Should I count educational screen time differently from watching shows and games?
Absolutely. In the same way that you may not count your time on a conference call with coworkers as screen time, you can consider educational time in a different category for your kids. We’re always telling kids that school is their job, so treat their learning time like you treat your own work time. I think some screen categories that may be useful for structuring your time would be: independent educational time, interactive/social educational time, social time, entertainment.
There are some great resources being offered for free right now to help with getting good meaningful screen time in. Here are some of my favorites:
- GoNoodle.com has long been a favorite of mine. It is a fantastic resource for movement breaks, but has LOTS of additional bonus content that relates to educational topics you might be working on, and also some much needed mindfulness and stress relief activities. These would be great for the whole family to get in on. https://family.gonoodle.com/
- Most libraries are closed, and while there are many digital/audio book options, some of the apps from libraries can be a little clunky. Epic! is so great for little ones to have access to tons of awesome books. They have lots of options for audio and even some bonus activities sometimes that go along with the books. It is a paid app, but it is free for educators and I think there is a way to get your teacher to share their log in with you. https://www.getepic.com/
- BrainPop has always had some free content but is offering everything free while schools are closed. This site has a lot to offer — fun things to watch, printable and digital activities to go along with videos, online games, and the app and website is really kid friendly. One of my favorite games I used all the time when teaching about ecosystems and biomes was Food Fight from brainpop! https://www.brainpop.com/
- Scholastic is offering some great learning at home resources organized by grade band and with 3 weeks worth of lesson plans. https://classroommagazines.scholastic.com/support/learnathome.html
- It’s been around for awhile, but it’s still good — Khanacademy. For those of you who already struggled to help kids with math homework, and now everything is homework, this is a great resource for you to brush up on your own school math skills as well! https://www.khanacademy.org/
- I don’t personally have experience with it, but I’ve heard that minecraft is offering more of their educational resources for free. When feeling stressed about your kid spending a lot of time on minecraft, remember that there are fewer ways for them to interact with friends right now which is so important. Not that you should let them just play all day or anything, but be mindful that time to interact with friends, even if that’s through a video game, is important for their well-being.
- Finally, here is a GIANT list of additional options curated by schoolclosures.org. It was created with input from parents all over the world. There is a lot here which can get overwhelming, but the website has a pretty helpful search tool. Here’s the list as a google doc, and here’s the website.
How much time to spend on any category of screen time will depend on lots of things. How old your kid is, how many kids are in your house, how many devices are having to be shared etc. Here’s an example though of a way you could structure a day:
Thanks for bearing with my meandering thoughts on this topic. Turns out I have a lot to say about screen time! I hope this is helpful. Remember to be patient with yourself and your kids. Allow yourself the option to be flexible and throw out plan A, B, and C and try for D. Good luck! Let me know how it’s going and share what resources/digital tools are working well and not so well for your family.
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