Schedules and routines.

 In an effort to follow my own advice, and give myself some pressure to set something and stick to it, I thought I’d share a schedule I’ve made for me and my family plus some of my “why” for each thing.

My times are approximate and something to hold with open hands as nothing is ever exactly the same with my ten month old, though it is much more predictable than it used to be. For example, as I write this I am about an hour behind what is written, am still wearing the shirt I slept in and I ate cereal and cookies for lunch, so…you’re not alone?! Haha..I also tried to think about how to keep things similar to what we used to do B.P. (Before Pandemic TMTMTMTMTM), but replace actual outings with a similar activity or a safe, non-interactive errand.

7:30 — I’ve decided that if I can get dressed and wash my face, etc before my kids nap, it helps me be able to be more productive during nap time, and also even though he’s only 10 months, I think it’s a good precedent for him to see me taking time to taking care of my needs. While I do that, he plays with…honestly whatever, but I’m going to try to be a little more structured about that.6:30 — For me, it works well to check in on the news in the morning while I nurse my kid. I enjoy The Skimm as my source of news.

8:30 — I’ve been grateful for the daily structure of laundry that I already had in place since we use cloth diapers. It really helps have some touch points in the day of things that have to happen. Also, I decided today to take advice I gave to someone recently…don’t believe the lie that you don’t have 10 minutes to *fill in the blank*…and decided that it’s important for me to do some kind of yoga routine in the morning. breathing + stretching = life giving.

9:30 — If my goal is “fill my cup” it is much easier to feel productive at this time. Some days filling my cup looks like cleaning dishes, running the vacuum, taking a shower, other days like getting outside and digging up weeds, and others like getting back in bed and watching a show that makes me laugh. Giving myself the space to do whatever that thing is for the day helps to make sure that I have more to offer my family the rest of the day.

10:30 — B.P., we tried to get out of the house at this time. Our library had story times at lots of locations at this time and we tried to get to one at least once, if not three times per week. I’m trying to consider this chunk of the day like that — do an online story time, spend time in the swing instead of going to the park, go dump our glass recycling to actually get out of the house but not be in danger of getting too close to someone.

11:30 — I try and eat or at least prepare my lunch before I put my son down for his second nap, otherwise, I end eating random snacks that are more easily available because I’m too hungry and tired to make something….hence today’s cereal and cookies. :)

12:30/1:30 — My son usually takes his nap around this time and I try to use it to make sure the laundry has made it to the dryer, do a little reset in the house, and think through dinner. I don’t usually actually do a lot of dinner prep at this point in the day, but if something needs to be defrosted or chopped I try and do a little work to make it go more smoothly later. In general, even before the pandemic, I tried to do a more intentional clean of one room/zone in the house every day. This doesn’t always happen, but I think if I put it on the schedule, it has more of a chance of getting done.

2:30 / 3:30/4:30— After second nap, the schedule usually goes a little loosey goosey for us, but generally a walk and playing outside happens. There’s also some nursing in there before dinner time. Side-note, it’s not that my husband only does dad stuff at 4:30. He’s really helpful and does a lot, but he only gets one mention on the schedule because really it’s for me and my babe.

5:30 — Old person dinner time haha! I really love that we all eat together as a family and think it’s important to model as early as now for our son that dinner time isn’t just about eating. It’s about reconnecting with each other, sharing stories from our day, talking about what’s worrying us, laughing about funny video chats we had, etc. That’s the dream anyway…dinner time is also sometimes mom and dad staring into space like zombies and eating reheated frozen pizza while baby flings broccoli everywhere.

6:30 — Bedtime is a moving target depending on how the day goes, but usually, he’s down before 7. After that, we try to reset, clean up, make sure there’s some order brought to the general chaos of the day, then we hang-out. I’m trying to break up the “lets eat something sweet, get a drink, and watch something” routine a bit. We’ve been playing a Dungeons and Dragons campaign over zoom with some friends, and sometimes do video or drive-way happy hours. We’re trying to do something “social” a few nights a week to keep us sane, but otherwise we watch a show and go to bed.

10:00 — I’ve decided to give myself a bedtime because as the days blur into each other more and more, getting good sleep is still important and it’s too easy to accidentally stay up doing something silly like watching tv or looking at social media. Going to sleep anxious because of looking at too many things + not getting to bed early enough = starting with an empty cup tomorrow.

I have it much easier than some and am aware of and grateful for the privileges I have every day. My one son is almost 10 months old and getting more consistent with his sleep, my husband already did most of his work from home before all this, we have a home with a great yard in a quiet friendly neighborhood where we can walk, my dogs are relatively low maintenance…I’ve got it pretty good. I’m praying for you moms and dads who both work and have multiple kids at home now, you single moms and dads juggling work and childcare all on your own, you single individuals who haven’t been able to touch another human in weeks, you parents of kids with special needs who are literally losing their minds with the countless changes to their routines, you family of 5 living in an apartment complex without easy, safe access to the outdoors, you new moms and dads with tiny newborns in a major sleep deprivation fog without being able to get help from grandma, you expecting parents anxiously awaiting the arrival of your little one and hoping more than ever that there are no complications with your birth plan, and the countless others who have it way worse than I do.

I’ll end with this. At bedtime, we’ve been saying this prayer from the evening prayer service in the Book of Common Prayer since advent. Lately, it’s felt like it was written for this moment in time:

Keep watch, dear Lord, with those who work, or watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary, bless the dying, soothe the suffering, pity the afflicted, shield the joyous; and all for your love’s sake. Amen.